Megan Again: Sliding Door Moments

Megan Again: Sliding Door Moments 
​By Megan Wirts

I recently watched a video of the author/storyteller Brene Brown at a speaking engagement and she mentioned something called “sliding door moments”. She described those as moments when you make a choice that can change the trajectory of your life.
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As I sat there listening to her tell her stories, all of the “sliding door moments” of my life started to flash in my mind and it made me think long and hard about...

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...my life and the choices I have made. The college I chose to go to. The jobs I chose to take. The words I chose to speak. All of those choices have shaped my life and have brought me here to this point.

Then it made me think about my future and what it holds. How am I going to keep my dignity while living with a disability? What kind of life will I have if my disorder progresses? Are my kids going to be okay? Will my husband be okay? Who is going to pluck my chin hairs if I am ever in a coma or I am just unable to do it myself? What about my eyebrows? (These are serious issues people.) My brain was going into overload.

I started to question all of my decisions and started to feel insecure about every little thing I have ever done or said. Should I have cut my hair that short? Do I really love the wall color in my living room? Why did I tell that joke? Was it a wise decision to buy that mini dress that will most likely sit in the back of my closet? Should I have posted that photo or commented on that Facebook post? Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten that gas station burrito? You know, those important moments in life. It was all too much for a Monday morning pre coffee.

After I was sufficiently caffeinated, my mind started to go to the decisions that I have made that I have absolutely no doubt were the best of my life. The first was hitting reply to that email I got from the cutest boy I knew. The second was when we both looked at each other from across the table and said “Let’s have a baby!”  and then saying it again a few years later. Those three particular moments were the most life changing and defining moments of my life thus far. Without those three decisions all of the rest wouldn’t matter.

My husband and I were young when we began our life together and it has been 14 beautiful years now since we stood in front of our friends and family and promised to love each other forever. We have grown up together, changed together and are continuously learning new things about each other. I have witnessed him evolve into a great man and an even more incredible father.

He stepped up and took on the role of sole provider after I got sick and lost my job. He keeps me grounded when my ideas seem a little too out there and I pull him up into the clouds with me when he just wants to bury his head in the sand. We have endured the loss of our home to a fire, the stress and terror of life changing illness and the mess, struggle, joy and love of parenting some pretty awesome kids together.

Those particular “sliding door moments” were not met without fear. In fact, those are also the three most terrifying moments of my life. What I remember about making those decisions is letting the fear wash over me and then letting it go. As soon as I hit send on that e-mail, and then many years later when I saw those two pink lines on that positive pregnancy test, the fear washed over me and then I might have thrown up a little.

What I did next turned out to be the most important. I took that fear and turned it into excitement and adventure. Other times in my life I may have let fear stop me from taking a chance or getting to know certain people or having new experiences.
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I’m just happy I didn’t let it stop me on those days.