 Join us for "An Evening with John Waite" at the Dogwood Center on Saturday, May 18 at 7:30 p.m. Waite promises an intimate night of stories and songs from his solo career, as well as with the Babys and Bad English. The opener for concert will be Dan Correa, performing an innovative blend of rock and pop. Legendary singer/songwriter John Waite became one of the most recognizable voices in the 1980s when his hits “Missing You” and “Midnight Rendezvous” soared to the top of the pop charts. His solo career was preceded by success as lead singer of The Babys and later with rock super group Bad English. A master of live performance, Waite will bring his familiar vocals for a perfect night of timeless songs and stories from his long and prolific career. Waite’s talent for power ballads and driving rock occasionally touched on new wave-styled power pop making him a fixture of the rock and roll scene for years. His catalogue of hits includes the #1 worldwide hit “Missing You,” The Babys’ “Isn’t It Time,” and Bad English’s “When I See You Smile,” which rank amongst some of his biggest international hits and are still heard on radio today. Tickets are $25.00 and are available through the Dogwood Center Box Office, NCCA-Artsplace in downtown Fremont, or on-line at www.dogwoodcenter.com. For information, phone 231.924.8885. The Dogwood Center is located one mile east of downtown Fremont.
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 Multi-platinum selling hit songwriter, Gary Hannan will be joined by acclaimed songwriters and country music stars, Andy Griggs and Wynn Varble in the Dogwood Center's Black Box on Friday, May 10 at 7:30 p.m. They will share a ton of stories behind their #1 hits and the songs they have had recorded by the likes of Blake Shelton, Garth Brooks, Montgomery Gentry, Darryl Worley, and many others. Come out to the Dogwood Center and listen to Hannan, Varble and Griggs tell the stories behind the hits of songs they created. Hannan has written songs for many of Country Music's biggest stars including a contribution to Blake Shelton's Grammy nominated ACA and ACM album of the year 'Based on A True Story', which held the top spot on the Billboard Album charts for several weeks. Additional cuts include #1 song 'Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off' recorded by Joe Nichols and #1 'Back When I Knew It All' by Montgomery Gentry. Other renowned artists to cover Gary's songs include Garth Brooks, Darryl Worley, Craig Morgan, John Michael Montgomery, Nickelback and many more. Griggs is an American country music artist. He has released three albums for RCA Records Nashville and a fourth for Montage Music Group. These four albums have accounted for 13 singles and 6 Top Ten hits on the Billboard country chart, the highest being "You Won't Ever Be Lonely" and "She's More", which peaked at #2. He also charted "Grow Young with You", a cut from the soundtrack to the film Where the Heart Is. Griggs is an extremely accomplished artist and songwriter that is one with his music. He brings a unique and sincere feel for each song and his performance will leave you wanting more! Wynn Varble had his first #1 song “Have You Forgotten” with Darryl Worley in 2003. The song was nominated for Songof the Year by the CMA. In 2008, "Waitin’ on a Woman", which Wynn co-wrote with Don Sampson was nominated by the CMA for Song of the Year. His most recent #1, "I’m a Little More Country" recorded by Easton Corbin, was also nominated by the ACM for Song of the Year. Wynn’s songs have been cut by a range of great artists, including Easton Corbin, Garth Brooks, Lee Ann Womack, Brad Paisley, Darryl Worley, Kellie Pickler, Montgomery Gentry, Trace Adkins, Tracy Byrd, The Kinleys, Mark Chesnutt and Sammy Kershaw. Tickets are $20.00 and are available through the Dogwood Center Box Office, NCCA-Artsplace in downtown Fremont, or on-line at www.dogwoodcenter.com. For information, phone 231.924.8885. The Dogwood Center is located one mile east of downtown Fremont. Suggestion Box: Brewaygo turns 4, Tunes Abound, Enchantment at Camp Newaygo, And Trout Time4/26/2019  The Big Boss Band will be playing Newaygo Brewing Co. Friday 7-10pm. By Ken DeLaat As of Friday it has been four years since Eric, Krista and Nick Looman opened the doors to Newaygo Brewing Co. In doing so they altered the downtown business landscape with the addition of this engaging gathering spot Since then it has served as a hub of activity where townsfolk and tourists intermingle while enjoying some of the most innovative brewing creations to be found and some truly righteous food. “Entering our fifth summer is surreal,”said Nick. “I am really happy to have many new things in place for a great season like weekly music and events, outdoor seating, expanded kitchen space, and new summer brews! We definitely feel at home in Newaygo now.” “Still being here so many years after launching the brewery is a testament to the Newaygo community.,” added Krista. “Our growth is their growth. Its really cool to be able to set a precedent for change and culture.” To commemorate the entrance into year 5 there will be a Friday version of Acoustic Lunch with Coty Bouchard from noon to 4pm then at 7pm be ready because The Big Boss Band will be taking the place by storm and holding court until 10pm. On Saturday Jack Leaver will make a most welcome return to hold the noon to 4pm slot. Happy B-Day Brewaygo. Local mandolinist, Brian Oberlin, brings his longtime musical friends from Germany for a concert in the Dogwood Black Box on Friday, April 26 at 7:30 p.m. The four musicians will play their own sets of music along with plenty of collaborations including classical, bluegrass, swing, Gypsy, jazz, blues, and much more. Tickets are $15.00 and are available through the Dogwood Center Box Office, NCCA-Artsplace in downtown Fremont, or on-line at www.dogwoodcenter.com. For information, phone 231.924.8885. The Dogwood Center is located one mile east of downtown Fremont. The Enchanted Forest at Camp Newaygo returns on Saturday, April 27 from 11:00am – 4:00 PM. Fun family-friendly event in a superb setting. Make sure you do the CN wetlands trail at some point this spring or summer. It is truly a worthy hike. If you’re looking to rock and roll this weekend the Riverstop Saloon will be hosting the Kyle Hilton Band Friday and Saturday And of course it is the opening day of trout season Saturday which means lots of folks coming up to enjoy the fishing in this magical area we get to call home. Speaking of trout, avid angler Charles Chandler has a worthy read in our Pulse section about a vision for the White River. Give it a peek. https://www.nearnorthnow.com/the-pulse/newaygos-forgotten-river-part-iii-the-state-of-the-fisheries-and-water-quality   Circling The Sun Book Review By Alexis Mercer It has been a while since the last book review, which is a direct reflection of the crazy pace of my life - the pace at a speed not unlike American Scott Fauble’s recent 7th place finish (1st American) at the Boston Marathon. He ran 2:09.10 for 26.2 miles, which averages less than 5 minute miles the entire race. Soak that in. I considered comparing my recent life to Usain Bolt’s speed, but the pace continues over a much longer time frame than 100 meters - so instead I’ll use the asinine pace held by the marathoner for a much longer time frame. The great news is that I was fortunate enough to sneak away to the Keys for a week with my family - allowing for some desperately needed down time. Some of which I even got to spend reading. One of the three books I devoured was Circling The Sun by Paula McLain. This book hooked me prior to even page one. Instead it was the quotes before the prologue that pulled me in. “I learned to watch, to put my trust in other hands than mine. And I learned to wander. I learned what every dreaming child needs to know - that no horizon is so far that you cannot get above it or beyond it. These I learned at once. But most things come harder.” Beryl Markham - West With The Night “We must leave our mark on life while we have it in our power.” Karen Blixen The protagonist of the story is Beryl Markham. The reader begins with her childhood as she and her family move to Africa from England to build a farm from the dust. But Beryl’s mother is not cut out for this rugged lifestyle - so she deserts Beryl and her husband, bringing Beryl’s brother with her back to England. And so begins Beryl’s wild, free, roaming childhood. She is a child of the land; her best friend a boy from the nearby Kipsigis tribal village, a warrior in the making.
Beryl’s atypical rearing shapes her into a curious adolescent - not suited for traditional schooling or interest in marrying as most young ladies of her time. The remainder of the book weaves through the adult life of the strong-willed, fascinating woman who becomes the first female with a proper English horse training license. Of her wild success in her professional life and devastating losses in her personal life. I found myself actually holding my breath a few times from being so engrossed in the story - wishing she wasn’t making some of the choices she did - having the distinct feeling it was all going to end so badly. And yet knowing her free spirit couldn’t make any other choices as she was destined for greatness regardless of the cost. All of these life experiences and relationships she endures through the book lead her to a final career: flying planes. The book ends true to her spirit as built throughout the previous pages. I felt as if I would have loved knowing Beryl had she been a real person and not just in the pages of fiction. You’ll imagine my surprise when I finished the last page and turned to the Author’s Notes at the end to learn that Beryl was real. This incredible story - though still fiction - was based entirely on the real life of the woman who accomplished the feats written about. And in fact, that this woman had written her own account of her life in the pages of a book called West With The Night (from which the quote at the beginning was taken). Ernest Hemingway even praised Markham’s memoir after having met her on safari in Kenya in 1934 and having read it himself. An already fascinating, enthralling tale was made even more so knowing this pioneer of a woman paved her way through adventure and territory unknown as described in the pages of Circling The Sun.  Local mandolinist, Brian Oberlin, brings his longtime musical friends from Germany for a concert in the Dogwood Black Box on Friday, April 26 at 7:30 p.m. The four musicians will play their own sets of music along with plenty of collaborations including classical, bluegrass, swing, Gypsy, jazz, blues, and much more. Virtuoso and intoxicating, thrilling rhythms, swing, charm and wit, but also sensitive and melancholic is an apt description of the music of the Trio Wiesenekker-Lysov, featuring brother and sister Michiel on guitar and Marijke on mandolin, and her husband Maxim Lysov, also on guitar. The trio connects friendship, the joy of playing, and passion for music from all over the world. They perform a headstrong mix of Russian romances, Baroque, Americana, Italian mazurkas, flamenco, bluegrass, jazz and klezmer. Marijke and Michiel moved from Amsterdam, Holland to Wuppertal, Germany to study classical guitar and mandolin at the Musikhochschule Köln. It is there they met fellow classmate Maxim Lysov from Moscow. All three still live in Wuppertal, the creative breeding ground in the middle of the mountainous region, with young, plucked string-players from all over the world. Concert tours take the artists through America, Russia, Japan and European countries. Brian Oberlin is an internationally acclaimed mandolin player and educator. During his decade's long professional career, Brian has been playing swing, bluegrass, and Italian classical as a solo mandolinist and vocalist. Brian was a top ten finalist at the 2013 Telluride Troubadour Contest, a featured soloist at the 2014 & 2018 EuroFest Plucked String Festival in Bruchsal, Germany, and a featured soloist at the 2015 Mandolin Upgrade festival in Berlin, Germany. Tickets are $15.00 and are available through the Dogwood Center Box Office, NCCA-Artsplace in downtown Fremont, or on-line at www.dogwoodcenter.com. For information, phone 231.924.8885. The Dogwood Center is located one mile east of downtown Fremont.  By Megan Wirts
My daughter is going to prom. I didn’t think it was going to happen this fast. She’s only a freshman, but she started dating a boy that is a junior and now it’s time for prom. Of course, I thoroughly investigated and met him before we let her even go on her first date. She’s our baby and letting go and allowing her to grow up and be independent is one of the hardest things I have had to do as a mother thus far. I can’t even think about her going away to college in a few years or I will cry for days. Wahhh! Before she was in highschool my husband and I both said, “No way is she going to prom when she’s only a freshman.” Ha! That’s just one thing we said would “never happen” as parents. Just like when I said my kids would “never drink pop” or “never be embarrassed by me, I’m the cool mom”, never say never friends, she’s going to prom. When she first asked if she could go to prom, my initial thought was “already?!” and “No, not prom!”, but because this boy has proven himself trustworthy and she always has this huge grin on her face when she talks about him, we said yes. Then we got her the dress, the shoes, and the boutonniere has been ordered (kids still do boutonnieres, right?). I only went to one prom, it was my senior prom and I didn’t have a date. I did go with a big group of friends that did have dates, and my friend Rosali came to my house where we did our hair together in my parents tiny bathroom. I hadn’t thought about prom in 20 years until this year. I don’t remember the theme to my senior prom either, it was probably something like, “A Night to Remember”, which I obviously don’t, or something very promish and very 1999. I do remember that I wore a sparkly blue dress and curled my hair. I danced with one boy to one song that night, the exchange student from Brazil, I don’t remember the song, and I mostly watched my friends dance with their dates. It wasn’t a bad night, but it wasn’t what all those prom movies from the ‘80’s and ‘90’s make prom out to be. It was just ok for me. I’m sure my friends have very different feelings and memories of prom night than I do. It’s all about perspective. Every stage of life my children enter, it brings me back to my own childhood and adolescence. It makes me wax nostalgic for my youth, along with remembering all the insecurities and fears that filled me up. It has taken me 20 years to let go of some of those insecurities and let go of some of the fear, some still linger. I try very hard not to pass that all on to my children. Instead I try to encourage them to be confident, love themselves and live fearlessly. Like, when my daughter said she was nervous to dance with a boy or infront of people for that matter, I tried to give her a big pep talk about how nobody cares if you look cool while dancing and to just be free and have fun, but she wasn’t really buying it. Then I forced her to dance like a fool, by dancing like a fool myself, in the dressing room at Goodwill to the Taylor Swift song that was playing over the intercom and that seemed to do the trick. She was laughing and dancing, without a care in the world. That’s how I hope her prom night goes. “You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching, Love like you’ll never be hurt, Sing like there’s nobody listening, And live like it’s heaven on earth.” ― William W. Purkey
 By Ken DeLaat The local Native Circle of Newaygo County has been doing some very cool things including the recent showing of the movie Indian Horse and the Native Gathering weekend held at Brooks Park each fall. Tonight (Thursday) the group is sponsoring an all-age Intertribal Dance Circle an opportunity to share and learn the different styles of pow wow dance. 6:30-8pm at Brooks Township Hall 490 Quarterline in Newaygo Snacks and refreshments will be provided.and no experience or regalia is necessary For additional information please call NCNC at (231) 709-9005. The Grand Rapids Symphony takes to the Dogwood Main Stage Thursday night at 7:30 pm. to deliver another dynamic performance by this world class orchestra. If you are fortunate there might still be tickets left and this is one of the absolute gems when it comes to Dogwood events. Box office will be open two hours prior to the concert so try 231.924.8885 and prepare to enjoy some very fime music. Easter Egg Hunts continue with Nelson’s Farm Market holding one Friday beginning at 1pm for ages 0-4 and 3pm for ages 5-10. Be prompt! I have been a part of Easter Egg hunts in the past and I say this with the voice of experience Be Prompt! Free event, bring your own baskets and here’s a note from the folks at NFM “Please explain to your kids that they don't need ALL of the eggs! We like to keep it fun and fair for everyone! Be sure to plan plenty of time, parking can get crowded. Oh, and don't forget to bring your patience!” Nicely put, Nelsons. The JAM Children’s Ministry is holding a hunt at the White Cloud Church of God Saturday from 11am-1pm.There will be age groups: Toddler to 1st grade, 2nd grade to 5th grade and Teens. Door prizes food and drinks, and photos with the happy hare known as The Easter Bunny. Free. And ok, we’ve never really known of an adult Easter Egg hunt before but we heard this was going to happen at the Shamrock in White Cloud Saturday night at 8pm and admittedly our curiosity is piqued. Probably not piqued enough to stay out beyond what is generally a rather early bedtime mind you, but piqued nonetheless. Must be over 21. The Acoustic Lunch series at Newaygo Brewing Co. has featured some fine music and this Saturday is no exception as Dale Wicks takes the stage to help provide an afternoon of good tunes, good brew, good food and amiable surroundings. Noon to 4pm. #Brewaygo It’s drive-in season! If you are about my age drive-in movies have likely been a part of many stages of your life. We went as kids in an old station wagon falling asleep generally before the second feature, spent high school there on dates or with groups of friends and eventually went with our own kids in a van because it was the only way to get out and see a movie and the kids would fall asleep before the second feature. Haven’t been for years you say? Me either but this is the year. The Getty Drive In in Muskegon opens Friday with The Curse Of La Llorona (followed by Shazam! Movie ), Dumbo (followed by How to Train Your Dragon 3), Captain Marvel (followed by Alita: Battle Angel) and Us(followed by Happy Death Day 2U). Having a drive in nearby is rare these days. The only other one I know of is the Cherry Bowl near Honor up north. If anyone knows of another active one send us a note. I wonder.. Do they still have the cartoon of the dancing hot dog and pizza slice at intermission? If you’re out and about near the lakeshore Saturday and have a liking for Irish music check out the Book Nook in Montague a very cool, bookstore/listening venue in their downtown area. Peat in the Creel will be performing starting at 7pm and it’s still a long time until the Irish Fest so this will whet your appetite for the sounds of the Bodhran, penny whistle, fiddle and flute. Happy Easter folks.  Suggestio Box is sponsored by Newaygo Brewing Co. #Brewaygo  A little post ballet exiting Public Performance Saturday at 3pm
By Ken DeLaat On Friday on the Dogwood Center’s Main Stage the GR Ballet Junior Co. put on a performance of Beauty and the Beast that served to clearly capture the rapt attention of an audience filled with 6th graders from our local schools. It was not my first rodeo. I’ve been to several of these performances over the years and yet each time brings a sense of astonishment at the way these groups of early middle schoolers take to the genre. The faces of the young men and women seems to say it all as they drink in the choreographic magic being performed on stage. It is a testament to the desire our young people have for more exposure to the creative arts and comes with an unmeasurably appreciation toward the Fremont Area Community Foundation, the Gerber Foundation, and the Ted and Nancy Johnson Endowment Fund at FACF for helping to fund this program. I spoke with a quartet of Hesperia Middle Schoolers after the performance. What was your favorite part? “The dance with the teacups was a lot of fun.” “I lied how they did the wolves eyes.” “All the costumes were awesome” “I didn’t know Belle had two sisters. It added to the story” Cori, Ellie, Elizabeth and Joanna each reported they loved the show. A couple of them had been to the Nutcracker and other ballets and were impressed by the talent of the young dancers on the stage. Would you ever see yourself doing that? “No way.” “It would take years of practice.” “They start really young” So the Hesperia 4 gave the show 4 thumbs up. Anything you would change? “No. But I think the beast was a little too skinny.” The show is today, Saturday at 3pm. Tickets still remained at the time of this posting. Call the box office at (231) 924-8885 Suggestion Box: Ballet, Boxing, a Bit of Piano, a few Eggs and the Spring Craft Show Season Starts4/12/2019
By Ken DeLaat One of the most awaited shows of the year comes to the Dogwood Center this Saturday afternoon at 3pm when the GR Ballet Junior Company presents Beauty and the Beast. There is nothing quite like taking a young person to the ballet. We have brought children and grandchildren over the years and the experience has always been highly enjoyable and at times even a bit adventurous depending on the age group of our guests. I had a chance to see the show Friday morning when it was performed for some area 6th graders and it is indeed a sparkling show with imaginative costuming and sets, dozens of talented dancers and a storyline that puts a fresh look on a familiar tale. Look, this is one of those perfect Spring things to do so call the box office and get yourself a great time at a bargain price of just $17.50 a ticket and just a mere fiver for 18 and under. Think of it. You can bring a quartet of grandchildren to the show for less than it would set you back for a single ticket to Michigan Adventures. On top of that one arrives home significantly less exhausted than one might after a day at the amusement park. https://www.nearnorthnow.com/features-and-fun/beauty-and-the-beast-ballet-at-dogwood-on-april-13 There is something so ultra cool and Sinatraish about listening to live piano music in a casual setting. It can be an ambience enhancing addition to the atmosphere of the moment all the while providing a pleasant backdrop to pleasing company. Keyboard artist Isaac Schneider takes to the Newaygo Brewing Co. stage as the latest guest in their Acoustic Lunch Series this Saturday from noon to 3pm. Isaac is fast becoming a local favorite on the ivories so don’t miss the chance to give his play a bit of a listen while enjoying a bite and a brew. Downtown Newaygo. The thing about boxing? There’s not much middle ground. You either embrace the sport or vilify it and once you peel off the crowd that has moved to the mixed martial arts/cage fighting genre where it’s nearly all action, the fans of traditional pugilistic performance become fewer albeit generally quite knowledgeable about the sport. I am not at all knowledgeable about fisticuffs and personally the last fight I was in I won by about 6 blocks. However, if you are an aficionado of the glove game this weekend is the State Golden Gloves finals at the DeltaPlex in GR where the states top amateur boxers vie for the title. Friday and Saturday. The Village of Howard City is hosting their annual Easter Egg Hunt for children 12 and under at Ensley Park beginning at 1pm. There will be bikes and other prizes to win and over 5,000 eggs will be available to find. You can register for prizes the day of the event and you must be present to win. The Fremont Rec Center has a different twist on the old Egg Hunt thing with an egg splash held at the pool from 9am to noon when about a thousand plastic eggs are there for the swimmers. The Huge Hare known as The Easter Bunny will be on hand we hear and there will be face painting and a coloring station. Cost is $5 per child. Call 924-3750 for more info. Saturday will be a mostly sunny though a bit cool so it looks like an ideal time to get out and begin hiking like you promised yourself all winter. The North Country Trail folks, a fine group of trail enthusiasts are inviting people to join them Saturday at 10am for a little stretch of the legs involving a 5.5 mile trek through some mighty fine landscape. They will convene at Birch Grove Schoolhouse on the corner of Felch and 5 mile and indicate the path to be taken is wooded with even terrain and a few small hills.For more info and to sign up contact Nancy VanWinkle at [email protected]. On Saturday Grant Christian School (12931 Poplar Ave) is hosting their annual Spring craft show with close to 50 vendors on hand plying a variety of creative goods and services. We spotted opportunities from cookies to candles, honey to home products, and syrup to soap besides an array of needlework designs, jewelry, games, clothing, pet goods and more. Starts at 10am and runs until 2pm. Moss Ridge Golf Club on Apple Ave also has a craft show going on Saturday from 9am-3pm. Inside, of course, and offering over 50 vendors though likely not the same vendors as those at Grant Christian so you may need to hit both. Have a great weekend. Quote of the week: “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”-Kurt Vonnegut  Suggestion Box is sponsored by Newaygo Brewing Co a place to have good food, good drink, and good times  By Tim McGrath
The plane was a silvery speck against the deep crystalline blue of the July sky above the Charlevoix airport. “There it is, and there she goes,” Tommy mentioned as nonchalantly as if telling me what he’d put on his toast that morning. I looked skyward searching for the plane carrying our two wives, and the guys they were strapped to. I’m usually not a nervous hen, but this seemed like certain doom. Who does this kind of thing, anyway? Two sixty-year old baby boomers, that’s who. “We’re never gonna grow old, man,” is the mantra of a generation bent on wrinkled youthfulness. Stand back, baby: hop on that Harley, jump off high bridges, throw yourself out of airplanes. It was all I could do not to pluck at Tommy’s sleeve asking him to remind me our wives names are Kris and Cheryl, not Thelma & Louise. That’s when the second black speck dropped from the plane – Cheryl. And, that’s also when the screaming started. Just to be clear, it was from the jumpers, not the ground crew. It’s quite remarkable how far sound travels on a still morning. The first speck eventually took shape as two humans strapped together dangling under a parachute. After free falling for about an hour, the second chute opened, and the screaming became mixed with whooping and laughing. And, just like that, both landed safe and sound feet from ground zero – Tommy and I. Congratulatory hugs and kisses were dutifully doled out, and as we walked back to the car, Cheryl said: “I think you’d like it, wanna give it a try?”. Like an imbecile I replied: “ I’ll do it if you go again. But not today, of course. Things I’ll Never Do: Skydiving (Probably) My place was facing backward watching the kids from the comfort of a well padded seat, not bobbing around in the water on a colorful tube strapped to the back of a high speed power boat manned by a skipper bent on mischief. “C’mon, Uncle Tim, you’ve gotta do it, you just have to”, young niece Cristi hollered at me over the back of the boat. Several others on board gave me the thumbs up sign. I didn’t relish the idea of being slammed around on the mountainous waves, but I didn’t want the label “family weenie” attached to my face in the photo albums either. Plus, I was already geared up and on the tube. Crap, I hadn’t done this since high school, generations ago. What can do wrong I foolishly reasoned: I’d given explicit instructions I wanted an ”easy to moderate” ride. Everyone agreed that’d be best for someone who hadn’t done this in a long time; so we were all set. Might be fun, so don’t be such an old fart, I reminded myself. I gave the thumbs up, put on my brave face, and everyone cheered. The boat roared to life, the rope snapped free of the water, and we were off. After a bit, I relaxed and enjoyed the tour around the lake. Hey, not bad, I thought. Big grins, more thumbs up. There apparently was a conspiracy on board that I, of course, wasn’t privy to. Suddenly, the boat leapt forward, the whooping and hollering grew to where I could hear it from my vantage point. That’s when Captain Dave commenced with zigzagging. I hung on defiantly, but it was clear the end was coming. As soon as the figure eights started I realized I was going in. And, in I went. Not a delicate little splash, but a full force, skittering wipe out. When I finally stopped and sank some distance away, I took an inventory: everything seemed in order. As the boat slowly bounced its way over the massive rollers it’d created, I glanced down at myself in water and noted there was an extraordinary amount of skin exposed under there. That’s when it hit me: I’d lost my swim trunks in the wipeout. No joke. As the boat came closer and everyone leaned out to check on me, I had to let them in on my little secret. Thankfully, it was the middle of the afternoon so the glare off the water rendered most of me invisible to most of them, save those with Polaroids. “Um, just so you know I have no swimsuit on: it’s somewhere out in the lake, so you might not want to look,” I casually mentioned. Uproarious laughter followed by disbelief something like this could really happen. Thankfully, Cheryl looked down (with Polaroids) confirming her suitless husband’s current state. “Yup, no swimsuit,” she gleefully reported to everyone on board. Suffice it to say that was the end of the glory days of tubing. But, the worst was yet to come. After I’d been discreetly towed back to shore and provided with an appropriate cover-up, I looked down and noticed my brand new fifteen- dollar Wal-Mart watch had been unceremoniously ripped from my wrist in the melee. I have a hunch I’ll still end up as the “family weenie” in the photo albums. Things I’ll Never Do: Tubing (Again, Period) It started out as a lark. Went to the Meijer store on 28th Street, walked to the tobacco aisle, and selected a wrapped pack of Wolf Brothers rum soaked Crooks. Little cigars that were bent in odd shapes, and apparently soaked in rum. They looked just like the ones Chuck Connors, the hero of The Rifleman TV show, smoked. I approached the clerk with my choice and she just stood and looked at me in THAT way. The way that says, “you’re kidding, right?” “How old are you?” she asked. A little too ornery, if you ask me. “Uh, sixteen”, I replied, feeling my face turn bright red. “Nope, ain’t gonna happen, sweetheart. If I was your momma and caught you smoking, you’d be out back behind the shed. Now go put those back, and don’t let me catch you in here again!” With that she stood there waiting for me to comply. What could I do; I slowly trailed off back to the shelf and carefully restocked the forbidden fruit. I should’ve listened to her; but at sixteen, who listens? In spite of the salesclerk’s best efforts to curb my pending bad decisions, I went ahead and found other sources for what developed into a firmly entrenched habit. I became a dedicated puffer of cigarettes, cigars, and pipes. And, frankly, I was good at it. All through the remainder of high school and college I could be found with one or the other protruding from fingers or mouth. That all changed with the arrival of child number one several years out of college. That, and the fact I kept getting pneumonia, and generally feeling awful. When this wonderful little girl was about five or six she kept pestering me to stop. “Daddy, you have to stop smoking, it’s bad for you and you STINK!” She was right, of course. Fast forward about one year and several failed attempts later, I finally got it right. No more smoking. It’s been almost thirty years. Thank you, baby girl. Things I’ll Never Do: Smoking (Again, Period) |
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