Megan Again: Gratitude & Pumpkin Pie

Megan Again: Gratitude & Pumpkin Pie
By Megan Wirts

Can you smell the pumpkin pie? The turkey and stuffing? I can and I love it.

I’m a fan of any holiday where it is deemed acceptable to eat until your stretchy pants are too tight. Do you want to eat 14 pieces of Auntie Amber’s homemade pumpkin pie? You go right ahead and throw a little extra whipped cream on top. It’s Thanksgiving after all.
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I’ll fully admit that I am one of those people that starts decorating and listening to Christmas music right after Halloween. It doesn’t mean that I don’t give Thanksgiving the respect it deserves, it just means I seriously love Christmas. I will still set out my cornucopia and wear my turkey apron and shove...

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 ...a buttered-up hand in the backside of a turkey to fill it with stuffing. Side note: Who was the first person to think to themselves, “Maybe if I put these vegetables and breadcrumbs up there it will taste better.”,and how did they come to that thought? I’ve always wondered.

Anyway, there is so much to love about this day of feasting. There is football, parades, family, ridiculous amounts of mouthwatering comfort food, and what should be the most important, giving thanks. It’s all about the gratitude and pumpkin pie, those are my two favorite parts.

However, I must confess something to you my dear readers. I have had a hard time with being thankful and showing gratitude this past year, but no trouble eating pumpkin pie.

“But you seem so positive and optimistic all the time, Megan.”, you might be thinking to yourself. True, I do seem that way and honestly,most of the time I am. There are times though, that I am just feeling very “meh”, as I like to call it. Times where everything I write sounds like a bummer and I’m just sad and feeling blah.

There are moments where I am reminded of the life I had before I had dystonia and was disabled, and it breaks my heart. I know that in time I will be able to look at those moments and be happy that they happened rather than sad and depressed because I can’t do those things anymore. Right now, though, I am grieving and the wounds are still open and not fully healed.I am human after all. Grief, I have found, lingers on. Coming and going when you will least expect it. Grief can be sneaky.  

The only thing that has helped me to combat this despair that I feel is to focus on the good in my life, and there is so much good!

There are the big things like that guy I love and I’m sharing my life with and our two incredible small people that bring me so much joy that I am certain I might burst from all of it. I have the best friends that let me know every day that I am important to them. I have a large loving family, warm and cozy home, food in my kitchen and love all around me. I am, as they say, #blessed.

I am thankful for my life and the abundance of amazingness that makes it up, but like I said, I am human and sometimes I get “meh”. So, out of desperation to feel better and because I saw it on a Hallmark Christmas movie, I decided that I should write all the things down that make me feel happy, no matter how insignificant it may seem.I have realized that if I focus on what I don’t have, I will never be satisfied. If I can turn my thoughts to all the things in my life that make me happy then I will have more than I will ever need.

Let me share with you a few of the things that I am grateful for in my life.

I am thankful for coffee. I don’t sleep very well and coffee is my hero and my lifeline. There is nothing like a hot caffeine filled cup of coffee with a splash of my favorite creamer of the moment. Every morning I look forward to cradling my favorite ceramic mug while I catch up on my daily Facebook stalking, I mean, research…yes research.

I am thankful for earbuds. I love that my sweet daughter loves to practice her ukulele and loves to sing. She is incredibly talented and in my eyes, she is a gosh darn star! She will practice the same song over and over again for hours and hours. To the point that her fingers will bleed and her voice will go hoarse. The girl is dedicated and I greatly admire it. But, I’m telling you, there is only so much of hearing Twenty One Pilots on the ukulele that I can bear. I am thankful for her and her talent and I am thankful that I can throw in my earbuds and listen to Harry Potter on audiobook and we can all remain sane.

I am thankful for online shopping. Without online shopping I would have a lot more money, but I am still very thankful for it. I can’t drive anymore and I don’t live in a place where there is public transportation. Going out to the store does not happen that often for me. Luckily we live in the 21st century where everything is at our fingertips and delivered to our doorsteps. It’s undoubtedly the best thing ever.

I am thankful for my washing machine. I hate folding laundry and putting it away. Out of all the household chores, it’s the worst in my opinion. However, if I didn’t have a washing machine it would be so much worse. So, thank you for existing washing machine and honestly that goes for all appliances, I love you all and the ease you bring to my life. I know I am spoiled and because of that, if the world collapses I am probably screwed, but right now you’re the best.

I’m thankful that my sixth-grade English teacher taught me an amazing song about prepositions. Helping my children with their homework can feel like torture, for all involved. Thanks to Mrs. Bird though, the awesomely catchy Preposition Song has helped me help my kids with their homework on more than one occasion. They also think I’m a genius because of it. Thank you, Mrs. Bird.

Last but certainly not least, I am thankful for words. I don’t know what I would do without these words that I am able to write, speak and think. I am grateful for this column that I can share with all of you. Before I had dystonia, I was actively involved with our local community theater. There was nothing I loved more than being on that stage and belting out a good show tune. I loved taking on roles of strong and sassy women and being part of something bigger than myself. I miss it more than I can even express and sometimes my sadness comes out in snot filled sobs and endless tears while listening to the Wicked soundtrack.

When my disability took that part of my life I searched for new creative outlets. That is when I found words and writing. I first began blogging and then started writing jokes and doing stand-up comedy, which led to this, Megan Again. A wise man once said to me when I was wallowing in sadness, that I have not retired from the stage, I have transitioned.

This is my new stage and I am so thankful to have it and to have those of you who read my words.
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Thank you.

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