Megan Again - Date Night Dilemma
By Megan Wirts
Recently my husband, Jeremy, and I had the entire day to ourselves. The kids were off to sleepovers and we didn’t have any plans for the first time in who knows when. We could have a date night or a whole date day if we wanted. The possibilities seemed endless! It was even a holiday weekend, there had to be...
...lots of things to do. The conversation went something like this:
M: We could go to the movies. You know, one for grownups!
J: We could. Anything good playing?
M: I don’t know. I haven’t seen a grown up movie in the theater in years. *looks at movies times* Meh, I would wait for all of these to go to Netflix.
J: Well, we could go to a bar. Have a drink?
M: Sure, where?
J: I don’t know. Never mind, it’s always too loud and neither of us can hear well.
This conversation went on for around 20 minutes until we decided we were hungry and we should go out to eat and we would probably figure things out better on a full stomach.
While at our favorite eatery in our tiny town, we again discussed the possibilities of our date day and we just couldn’t think of anything that we really wanted to do. Sure, we could do a web search for “date night” and hundreds of those creatively cute, and sometimes a little barf worthy, ideas will come up. There are lists and lists of things to do with your significant other to keep things from getting stale.
There is so much pressure out there to be the best couple, the most adventurous and the most fun. Even I tell people that they need to experience the world as much as possible, live every day to the fullest and get the most out of life.
So we just kept suggesting things to do. Things like going out dancing until 2am, (which, if you know my husband, you will know how ridiculous this suggestion is), or looking for a concert to go to (but that would require driving into the city and there would be people and loud music). See where this was going?
The thing is we both wanted to do something and that something was just stay home in our pajamas watching Netflix and actually chilling. Neither of us wanted to admit it though. It was like admitting that our youth was officially over. That we were old and boring and our marriage was dull. That we were giving up.
Finally, I looked at Jeremy and told him that it was okay. I told him how I had already let go of my last shred of youth when I googled “sexy Bermuda shorts” the other day. I knew then that it was over. I told him I wasn’t even sad about it and it was time for us both to accept it. Besides, doesn’t it sound wonderful to just do nothing together. Our life is usually so busy and full of adventure that this sounded like a dream come true.
We got our bill and boxed up our leftovers and headed home to settle in for our night of nothingness. I couldn’t help but have a big grin on my face as I held my fellas hand while walking to the car.
This is life together. It isn’t all big moments, like moving in together, getting engaged, your wedding day or the birth of your children. A life together is made up of a million tiny moments that fuse together and make up the entire experience. My favorite moments are the small ones, like binge watching Netflix, falling asleep on the couch together and him making me coffee in the morning just the way I like it.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the big moments too and I love to go out and experience the world. I love to get dressed up and put on my red lipstick, but if you can’t find happiness is the small stuff, the big stuff won’t matter as much.
So, if you are a couple that just wants to get take out and stay home on date night, you are not alone and there is nothing to be ashamed of. You are not old and boring! You aren’t giving up on your youth and your relationship. You are comfortable, you are happy and content with what you have and who you are with. Don’t give in to the pressure! You know what you want and you aren’t afraid to admit it. Go ahead and put on your comfy pants and settle in for the night at 7:00pm on a Saturday.
Sometimes the best nights are when you get to slow down and just be home together.
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