Megan Again: A Piercing Story of Sophistication

Megan Again: A Piercing Story of Sophistication
By Megan Wirts 

​When I was a little girl there was a woman that went to my grandmother’s church that had her nose pierced. She had gone to Africa on a mission trip and came back with some nostril jewelry. With it being the 80’s and me being only 7 years old living in a small town, I had never in my life seen a person that had their nose pierced!

She seemed exotic and sophisticated and I wondered how she blew her nose and if she blew it too hard would her nose ring pop out and fly across the room? I also knew that I needed to have my nose pierced someday. Even though I overheard some adults saying that it looked trashy and gross, or they would say things like, “Why would anyone want to put a hole in their face?!”, Still, I desperately wanted one.
​
I had already convinced my parents...

---

...to let me get my ears pierced when I was just 4 years old. I was adamant that I would not cry. I was going to be a big girl and keep it together, and I did. We went to a hair salon close to home and the woman, with a brightly colored pink mullet, took the piercing gun to my right ear and then my left ear, and I didn’t flinch. I was so proud of myself and those sapphire blue earrings, I never wanted to take them off.

So, at the age of 7, I was certain they would let me get my nose pierced. Alas, with all the pleading and promises of taking care of it, they wouldn’t allow it. As the years went by, I would think about that beautiful lady with the nose piercing from time to time and think about how I would look with one myself.

In the 90’s, they came out with magnetic jewelry and I totally put those things in my nose. They worked for the most part, unless you took a big deep breath and accidently inhaled the magnet and nearly choked and died. Needless to say, my magnet phase did not last very long.

Finally, when I turned 18 years old, my friends and I decided to get piercings. My friends, with their flat stomachs and 6 pack abs, all decided on belly button rings (also because that was easier to hide from their parents than something that was smack dab in the middle of their face). I, on the other hand, had not seen my own belly button since I was 9 years old because I loved to eat Oreo cookies by the truck load and bread was my favorite vegetable, so I was set on piercing my nose.

Then, after my friend had her belly button done first, I completely chickened out. I couldn’t do it! I was frozen in fear as I watched the piercing professional use a needle, that looked the size of a garden hose, to poke a giant hole through the skin of my best friend. I knew there was no way that thing was going near my nose. So, I opted for an eye brow piercing instead.  

You may be saying to yourself, “This makes no sense Megan. You put a hole near your eye, but were too chicken to put one in your nose where there are already two holes?” Yes, there was no logic in this decision. The truth is, it didn’t hurt that bad and I left with a nifty new ring in my eyebrow and I loved it.

I felt like I was so freaking cool. I would stare at myself in the mirror admiring my new bling. I imagined myself as the singer of a rock band orsome one that other people would look at and say, “Wow, she must be some kind of a rebel.” Both of which were not true and never happened. I was the furthest thing from a rebel. I rebelled in high school by not being a rebel and getting good grades, and the closest to a rock band I ever got was being in a bluegrass gospel band. I was not cool.

After less than a year with my eyebrow ring, I decided to remove it for good when I wanted to get a job as a waitress. It was 1999, and at that time facial piercings were not as main stream as they are now. My boss told me that nobody wanted to have food served to them from a girl with metal stuck to her face. So, out it came. It grew shut after a few weeks, ending my brief moment of coolness.

Years later, after I had become a mother and went back to college, I remembered how much I wanted my nose pierced. So, with my newborn baby and toddler in tow I went with my best girlfriends to finally put a hole in my nose. Yes, I brought my babies to a tattoo and piercing shop.My husband was working and I couldn’t find a babysitter and I needed to do this. I was also sleep deprived and going through my first of many 'pre-mid-life crises’.

I sat there in the chair with sweaty palms, while the nice man with the giant beard and neck tattoos held my newborn baby and my friend entertained my curious toddler, waiting for the pain. The anticipation was worse than the actual procedure, after just a tiny little pinch it was over! I had finally become that sophisticated lady that I saw all those years ago at my grandmother’s church. I also found out the answer to my question, it does not pop out of your face if you blow your nose.

For nearly two years, I wore it proudly until once again, I was forced to remove my precious jewels for a job that requested no metal stuck to human faces. (Although, I hear they have become a little more relaxed about those rules over the years.)  It was a very sad day for me and now that I have the freedom to put any amount of metal or tattoos all over my face, I have yet to get it redone and I don’t know why.

Maybe, I finally feel like I am cool and sophisticated enough.

Or maybe I’m still just a big chicken.

Megan will be doing her stand-up comedy as part of the Laughfest event. She'll be taking the stage  Friday March 17 at the GR Art Museum at 7pm and Sunday March 19 at The Bob, 3rd floor 8pm.