Up North and Personal:A Curmudgeonly View Of Fireworks

​Up North and Personal:A Curmudgeonly View Of Fireworks
By Ken DeLaat

Yes friends and neighbors it’s that time of year once again when the sky gets lit up by the sparkle and brilliance of advanced pyro-technical advancements as we celebrate our independence from England part of what is now known as the United Kingdom who are apparently  celebrating their own newly forged independence from the European Union. Well, some 51% or so are celebrating I imagine with the other near half of the country wavering between heavy angst, indignant anger and depression-laden resignation.

But I digress.
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It is indeed the time of year when those who are not bound by living with dogs they adore and small children they love, feel compelled to...

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... celebrate freedom the way it was apparently meant to be celebrated, by setting off the loudest and most reverberating miniature bombs that possess no accompanying light show but merely provide a house rattling, baby waking, dog whining, really loud noise.

I get it. I live on a lake and fireworks even the loud boomers with no redeeming aesthetic value are part of that. This is still, for many, where one comes to do things they can’t do at home so if fireworks are part of that I do indeed get it.

But is it so vitally necessary to begin practicing so long in advance?  I mean we all know the explosive excitation occurring during these rehearsals is due to the anticipation of that glow we all feel during Independence Day and not merely a pyro-plated passion for the intrusively ear-piercing resonation accompanying these preparations, right?

However this desire to get it down pat, to know that on the day when we’re supposed to set off these beauties that nothing will go amiss when the real performance day arrives has led to far too many late night explosions that arrive unexpectedly and inflict harm in a household where little ones sleep or our canine buddies become inconsolably upset.

So when one of these bombs goes off in my neighborhood at 11pm on a Tuesday night I tend to get a little miffed. While striving to never be one who would deem to put a damper on anyone’s fun the inconsideration involved is troubling at best.

Solution?

Let’s designate an area of our county where those compelled to light off pre-Independence Day explosives can go and feel free to blow up as much of their booty as desired. A spot away from any residences where those who might be sensitive to such off-holiday detonations are just looking for a little peace and quiet after dark.
We can even provide busing for those in need due to being a bit influenced or aided in their pyro-passion by the imbibing of a few adult beverages. A waiver regarding the possible loss of body parts during these free-to-be-me festivities would require a signature I imagine. At least from the uninebriated who might still be of sound mind.
Then let the party begin. Allow as many explosions as often as those in attendance desire. Make the loudest, most auricular injurious noises as possible. Keep it up until as many resources as necessary are depleted.

Then come back to the neighborhoods where babies and toddlers are sleeping, where dogs rest peacefully knowing things are ok and where people who get up early and go to work or crawl into bed after putting in a lengthy second shift just want to get a little quality rest.

We know  you’ll  to be back in full force come the day itself and there is little to halt your celebratory needs being met throughout the weekend of the holiday and progressing through the final minutes of the 4th (and usually beyond), but Tuesday at 11pm?

Seriously?
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Let’s show a little consideration out there shall we?