 By Ken DeLaat Resolutions are a complete waste of time. They're just this meaningless ritual, empty promises we make and break within hours of each other.”-Hillary DePiano, New Year's Thieve Ah yes, the semi-sacred process of making New Year resolutions. The time honored annual attempt to better ourselves with a fresh new start for a fresh new year. Of course many, like the character in Ms. DePiano’s novel, eschew the process. They will generally drone on about why they’re not doing resolutions whether they be an egoist with a semi narcissistic stance about not needing to change, a realist who feels it is pointless because no one keeps them anyway or even the fatalist who might espouse an even more misery laden response such as: “What’s the point? The climate is collapsing around us, politics have become performance art, people are more angry and divisive as ever and…” Whew. Perhaps a modicum of truth but truly exhausting even for the more optimistic among us. For those who make the effort, I applaud you. Change is essential to one’s growth and even if the workouts end in February (much to the relief of gym regulars), the dieting crashes and burns after the discovery of the tiramisu at The Forager and the efforts to stop being such an asshat crumble when the first opportunity to do so arises, there was at the least a bit of insight. A smidge of recognition that there is always room for improvement accompanied by a sincere effort toward intervention. I have always treasured the opportunity NY resolutions bring. Admittedly some initiatives have been more successful than others…well… truth be told, ‘some’ might be an exaggeration. Perhaps ‘a few’ would be more accurate. But nevertheless many of those reiterated resolutions that ran out of gas before they ran out of calendar eventually found their way into my lifestyle. These days, being a well seasoned septuagenarian, one might think the potential for progress is somewhat limited. There’s the ‘old dogs new tricks’ thing to consider, of course. Add to that the modifications to one’s lifestyle the process of aging brings. For instance a resolution made a couple decades back about learning how to luge never came to fruition and given an increasing personal propensity to avoid any potential for physical damage, the likelihood of it being on the docket in this or any future years is decidedly slim. But admittedly there remains a plethora of personally possessed behaviors that would certainly warrant some polishing. Years ago I made the mistake of asking those close to me for suggestions. I’ve always been blessed with family and friends who are genuinely unafraid of expressing themselves honestly when asked to do so, so it seemed like a logical ask. Bit of a warning here for those who might consider this. Do it only if you have a fairly adequate amount of self esteem. It wasn’t merely the overwhelming amount of submissions received, it was also the surprising direction many of them took (see above reference to ‘not being such an asshat’). It was the one and only time that particular strategy was employed. Nowadays, I tend to focus mainly on the doable rather than getting drastic with things like becoming better organized or reducing my annual intake of french fries. After a bit of contemplation I finally landed on one that seems within reach. Inspired by the voluminous list of books read by Editor Mercer over the past year (https://www.nearnorthnow.com/features-and-fun/my-year-in-reading-a-list-of-ratings) in 2023 I plan to finish the stack of publications currently resting on and near my bedside stand.There are somewhere in the neighborhood of a dozen or so sitting there waiting to be devoured and I figured one a month might be feasible. With all good intentions last night I picked up one received as a Christmas gift and gave it my best shot. Sometime later (about a half chapter, I think) Lifetime Spousal Companion Lil nudged me to say, “You fell asleep reading again.” And the struggle for self-improvement marches ever on. “Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.”- Ben Franklin
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 The Newaygo County Democratic Party and Friends will ring in the New Year on Monday, January 9 for their first meeting of 2023. The meeting will take place at the White Cloud Library meeting room. The doors will open at 6 p.m. for a meet and greet, with the meeting to begin at 6:30 p.m. There will also be a virtual option, and the link will be available closer to the meeting date. For information about the meetings, contact via email: qNewaygoCountyDemocrats@gmail.com. Follow on Facebook@Newaygo County Democratic Party, and visit the website at www.NewaygoCoDems.org.  Photo by Sally Wagoner, NCEC: Where the Hardy Rustic Trail used emerge From our friends at NCEC: The Public Comment period for the upcoming Hardy Dam spillway work ends on January 1. The proposed reconstruction includes destruction of an unnamed, prime cold water stream at the site, along with other environmental impacts to area wetlands and forests. “Public Comments from area residents can have an impact on how Consumers Energy will remedy the destruction of woodlands that has already occurred, and the remediation of destroyed wetlands,” stated Sally Wagoner of the Newaygo County Environmental Coalition (NCEC). Ms. Wagoner continued, “Public Comments must be very specific as far as residents’ concerns. When the issues are specific in the Comments, they must be considered by EGLE (Michigan’s Environment, Great Lakes & Energy Department) who issues the permit, and addressed by Consumers Energy.” NCEC has identified three areas with local environmental groups that are being impacted by the spillway reconstruction, and what residents need to ask regarding remediation by Consumers Energy as part of the total project. Community members are encouraged to include these specific concerns in their Public Comments: 1) The spillway project has already involved the deforestation of dozens of acres of pristine woodlands in the construction zone. The impact on wildlife and natural ecosystems has been devastating. Consumers Energy needs to provide a reforestation plan that would include the entire perimeter of the new spillway and all other affected areas. 2) The project has already involved the destruction of a very popular and scenic 4-mile loop hiking trail that meandered through the now destroyed forest. This was known as Hardy Rustic Trail, and was enjoyed by thousands of residents and visitors for decades. A replacement nature trail system needs to be constructed and maintained by Consumers Energy, including passive environmental education through educational signage, to mitigate the loss of this public trail asset as a condition of receiving a permit. 3) The project will also involve the destruction of a prime cold water stream at the site. Consumers Energy needs to provide a comprehensive plan for repair and restoration of the stream, its banks and surrounding wetlands affected as a condition of receiving a permit. 4) All environmental and habitat remediation must involve community input, as well as consultation and actual work by local native habitat restoration experts with historically successful projects, utilizing our local workforce. Remediation must also include consultation, education, input and project work by regional Indigenous and Tribal members with expertise and traditional knowledge in healthy regional habitats and their restoration. Remediation must also include collaboration with local environmental and recreational organizations as well as civic departments with the intent to engage with and provide educational opportunities and activities with community members, schools and youth. This collaboration will create positive relations with CE and inspire environmental care. To submit your comments, copy and paste the above four concerns into the Comment Box at: https://mienviro.michigan.gov/ncore/external/publicnotice/info/-4568696560259010670/comments. More information about the reconstruction project can be found at that site by clicking on the Details and Documents tabs. Or you can send your comments via email to Abigail Richmond: RichmondA3@michigan.gov. According to Ms. Richmond, the Environmental Quality Analyst for this project and Public Comment at EGLE, feedback from the community is taken very seriously. Specific concerns about any environmental, recreational and financial impact of the Spillway Project will be taken back to Consumers Energy and must be addressed by them. Due to the holidays ahead, comments that arrive a short time after January 1 will still be taken into consideration. For more information about the proposed reconstruction of the spillway, contact Sally Wagoner at buzz@nc-ec.org. The Newaygo County Environmental Coalition is a 501c3 non-profit whose mission is to support the beauty and sustainability of our local shared environment through information, education and advocacy. Follow Newaygo County Environmental Coalition on Facebook @NCEC2, and view more information at www.nc-ec.org.   Scott with his wife Desiree and daughter Sophia N3- Scott VanSingel has been what is now a rarity in public service. An elected official who focuses on legislating, votes his conscience and isn’t swayed by the allure of popularity that can be achieved simply by echoing the conspiracy du jour. While many speak of reaching across the aisle it too often remains restricted to verbiage rather than action. Scott not only reached across the aisle, he reached across the community often meeting with groups and individuals who may not have shared his party affiliation nor his conservative views but knew he was a legislator who listened. N3 caught up with the soon-to-be-ex State Representative to pose a few questions as he concludes his third and final term. How does it feel to be leaving a job you’ve held for 6 years? It was the fastest 6 years of my life. I was able to accomplish around 80% of the goals I had set, but I still feel like I’m leaving with unfinished business and was so close to getting some of my last priorities across the finish line. I’m leaving with a few regrets, but overall, a sense of accomplishment. What will you miss about it? The sense of fulfillment. With every vote we potentially had the opportunity to impact, for better or worse, the lives of 10 million people. Being able to shape these policies as one of 148 legislators and witness firsthand the positive impacts they have on people’s lives gives me a feeling of satisfaction I will likely never be able to replicate again in my life. Biggest challenge during your incumbency? Misinformation. The constant bombardment of extremely biased “news” sources and outright propaganda made it difficult to work on real issues. Especially in my last two years in office, we constantly received calls and emails about outrageous conspiracies and people demanded to know what I would do about them. Out of fear, so many people have stopped listening to reason and when we would try to explain the truth, many lashed out in anger. What do you feel was your biggest accomplishment while in office? Two things. First, for my district, I would say obtaining the funding for the Newaygo County Fairgrounds renovation. This is something our community will enjoy for generations to come. For the state as a whole, I was personally asked by Governor Snyder in 2017 to share my ideas for reforming the teacher pension system. The Republican House and Senate had presented a plan which would close the system, but potentially cost $20B or more. I sat down with the governor and presented my ideas on how to stabilize the retirement system, while protecting retirees at the same time. He agreed with my ideas, and they were eventually incorporated into a revised bill and signed into law. The reforms will save the state billions of dollars over the long term. Who were your mentors when you got to Lansing and why? While I did not work face to face with him very often, Governor Snyder was an inspiration to me as he couldn’t care less about partisan politics and weighed each issue on its own merits. I tried to do the same as a legislator. My first-term roommates in Lansing also provided some wise counsel including Senator Arlan Meekhof, Rep Triston Cole, and Rep Jim Lilly. We had great conversations each night after work and each of them were pragmatic and effective legislators. You’ve been a part of the whole Lansing Legislative Life for three terms. How do you see it now that you’re leaving? There were some pleasant surprises. We are conditioned to think that there is a daily battle of good vs. evil occurring in the legislative process and all those on the opposite side of our political beliefs hate America. I very quickly learned this is not at all the case. People from diverse backgrounds from all over the state ran for office because they want to make their communities better. The overwhelming majority of the people I served with are incredibly decent and honest men and women. One of the disappointments was that keeping majority and winning elections is extremely important. So important in fact, that people are willing to say and do anything it takes to win. Far too often, good policy was set aside and we were forced to vote on ridiculous bills that were pandering to our bases or designed to make the other side look bad. This is probably the biggest shortfall I see in our political process and don’t have a simple answer on how to fix it. Finally, I am disappointed to see that there is a growing anti-intellectual bias in the political process. One of the low points I experienced was giving a presentation on the science and physics behind electrical vehicles. Afterwards, all of my findings were immediately dismissed by the caucus, and it felt like I was going to be burned at the stake for heresy. One caucus member even got in my face and shouted at me. It will be extremely difficult to solve problems in the future if this trend continues to grow. You are a long time conservative Republican and yet faced some hostility from those within your party. Care to comment on this? This is perhaps my biggest surprise. I’m an evangelical Christian, small business owner, avid outdoorsman, NRA life member, and a social conservative. These beliefs are the very definition of a traditional Republican. As a result, I thought most of the attacks would come from the far left, however, most of the attacks I endured came from people on my side of the aisle who generally believe the same things I do. The key to winning elections is to build your base which historically was done by having better ideas than the opposition. In recent years, there has been an effort to purge anyone from the party who has a remotely dissenting point of view. This is a recipe for failure and we have already seen the results of this in the 2022 elections. Is the political system as broken as many say? No. Currently we have a very diverse group of people who serve in elected office who for the most part are honest and caring individuals who want what is best for their district and their state. I do see some alarming trends though. The short term limits Michigan enacted has resulted in us rapidly burning through the crop of qualified candidates and we are seeing more and more candidates in their early 20’s with very little life experience. I do believe the passage of Proposal 1 will help this. The other alarming trend I see is that both parties have embraced extremism and it is increasingly difficult for pragmatic legislators to get through the primary process. Some of those elected recently at the state level are downright dangerous and if we ever get to the point that they are the majority of the governing body, the entire system will collapse. Do you feel party loyalty has taken priority over governing? There has always been a push to follow the party as maintaining majority is vital to governing. I have seen this worsen in recent years, however, I don’t feel the push was coming from party leaders, but more led by far-right and far-left primary voters who demand absolute loyalty to the party rather than thoughtful deliberation of each issue. What would you do differently knowing then what you know now? I can’t say I would change much about my style or voting record, but I would be much more careful about who I trust. I was disappointed to see colleagues fighting for leadership spots who would say or do whatever it takes to reach a position of power. Some who I considered friends worked against me behind closed doors and I should not have been so trusting. I also would not have trusted our outgoing Speaker as he was probably the worst example of this. If asked what advice might you give to your successor? “Good policy makes good politics.” Focus on fixing the issues the people in your community care about and the votes will be there when election time comes around. Too many of my colleagues agonized over bills that were meant to manipulate or scare our constituents, rather than working on substantive issues. If you fix the real-world problems, you can be much bolder in voting your conscience on all the other bills as you will have earned the trust of those who elected you. What are your plans going forward? This is the only question I don’t have an answer for as of yet. I have several areas of interest including higher education, natural resources, transportation, and energy. I would like to obtain a role as an advocate in one of these areas, but I am open minded and eagerly awaiting where the Lord leads me next. Well done, Mr. VanSingel. Well done indeed.  By Marsha Reeves One of the most powerful teachings we hear from traditional wisdom carriers in ‘Indian Country’ is that humans are basically pitiful creatures. We have no fangs, claws, sharp vision, super hearing or even fur or feathers to keep us warm. Therefore, the rest of creation has been instructed to help us out. Many of the old stories are about how we have been taught by various members of other species how to fish, hunt, build houses, and find food and medicines. We are also taught that Creation didn’t just happen once, but that it’s ongoing and we are a part of it. I’m pretty sure my cactus taught me something important. The last couple of years have been seriously busy for me and sometimes I haven’t taken the best care of our houseplants. Honestly, most everything outside of the cactus plants, who don’t need much from humans, has died. The beautiful flowering cactus here had seriously outgrown its pot and needed a new one, to the point that the roots were breaking the old pot to pieces. I knew I needed to remedy that and kept making small steps toward fixing it. I found a new pot that should work, had the potting soil ready to go and then got a virus or was recovering slowly from a virus, or was busy with the health issues of others until one day I realized that the cactus was DYING! Leaves were withering and falling off, the whole thing was drooping until half of it just fell off onto the floor! That definitely pushed it to the top of my priority list. When I finally got what was left of the root ball into the new pot, I saw that the root was a lot smaller than it had been before the disaster. It had become about the size that the old pot used to be, and the part of the plant that was growing from that root was healthy and beautiful. It has since settled into the new pot, started growing again and even produced some blossoms this fall! But it got me thinking. The climate scientists that were ignored and ridiculed for the last couple of decades have been proven accurate beyond anything we ever imagined. Things are unfolding exactly as predicted, with wildfires, floods, and fearsome storms occurring with regularity now. Now those same scientists are saying that we only have nine years to turn things around if we want humans to be able to continue to live on this planet. There’s no more time to dink around waiting for government to fix this. We are on our own. Each and every one of us needs to do everything we can to stop this train wreck from happening if we want our grandkids to be able to live here, and Mars isn’t really an option yet. That cactus diminished itself by half to continue to live where it was planted. Americans, including those of us in West Michigan, on average consume 5 times our share of the earth’s resources. We have only 4.5 % of the world’s population, yet we consume 20% of earth’s resources. We are like the cactus trying to maintain our lifestyles way out of proportion to what is even close to our fair share. Humans have the blessing of being one of Creation’s smarter creatures in many ways, despite being pretty foolish a lot of the time. We can figure out how to burn fewer fossil fuels, live with a lot less stuff and be happy at the same time, some of this by going back to old ways of doing things. We can be smarter with the use of our personal resources, like darning sweaters instead of buying new ones, buying food from local farmers instead of from halfway around the world, growing gardens, or even putting more insulation in the attic instead of taking the grandkids to Disney World, giving them a better chance at having their own grandkids instead of a few weeks of thrill. That cactus was smart! It cut its resource use in half in order to save its life and continue blooming. I hope we can be as smart as that cactus.  Concert success result of talent, hard work. Story and photos by Tara Hefferan Newaygo Bands held the annual Winter Concert Wednesday night at Newaygo High School. This popular community event had family and friends filling the Cafetorium to standing room capacity well in advance of the 6:30 PM show time. Setting a festive atmosphere, the Newaygo Jazz Band played both before and between the stage performances, kicking off the night with a “funky” version of “Deck the Halls.” Director of Bands Branden Listh officially opened the concert by welcoming the audience, inviting them to enjoy the night’s musical journey, and thanking them for their support of both the students and program.  Assistant Band Director Megan Funk then introduced the 6th Grade Band, noting that just a few months ago these students were picking up their instruments for the first time, but now they were able to put on their first performance. This is a remarkable achievement. Led by Ms. Funk, these young musicians played seven short pieces, including a mix of traditional songs and folk songs. Next up was the combined 7th/8th grade band, conducted by Mr. Listh, who invited both the band and the audience to take a deep breath to shake out any nerves. Then, the music began with a rousing rendition of “Rockin’ on the Housetop.” This was followed by two other pieces that kept the crowd entertained.   The headline performance was last, given by the high school’s Newaygo Symphonic Band. Mr. Listh shared that the Symphonic Band began practicing as soon as marching band season ended in early November. They are preparing for upcoming events, including Solo and Ensemble in February and High School Festival in March. Looking sharp in formal black dresses and crisp tuxedos, the Symphonic Band performed “Breath of Heaven (Mary’s Song)” first. It was a powerful and enjoyable Christmas tune that highlighted the band’s many talented musicians, including oboist Amarice Marvin, who was a featured soloist. This was followed by the energetic song “Celtic Carol” that had the crowd dancing in their seats. Here, Sophia Wilder was featured as a soloist on the piccolo.
The Winter Concert was a great success, showcasing the local talent and hard work of Newaygo’s students. The progression of performances—from novice to experienced—made evident all the learning that happens between middle and high school. With community and school support, Newaygo Bands produces true musical artists.    By Doug Harmon What do you do two weeks before Christmas? You go driving around looking at Christmas lights. My hat is off to the dozens and dozens of great light displays that we got to see on our annual road trip in Newaygo and Oceana Counties. Jolly Old Saint Nick welcomes you at one location. A road trip is never complete without food so my Christmas celebrating associates, Holly, Tim and Shirley loaded in the car and we started the trip at High Tower Restaurant. This backcountry eatery never disappoints and after our tummies were full, it was dark enough and we were ready to explore. We had a destination in mind for the ultimate viewing that we had heard about. The Deater Family Christmas Light Show. The Deater family is known in the area for their involvement in lighting and sound production. They have taken their expertise and produced a wonderful light show in their front yard. Located on Garfield road south of Hesperia, very easy to find, for those of you who prefer landmark directions, the old Pine Point Road, past Taylor Bridge Store. The property has two driveways which allows you to pull in turn your car lights off and sit in your car and enjoy the show. A new show starts at the top of the hour and lasts 45 minutes. Lights are choreographed to great music selection from past to present, old standards and great Christmas Movies. Speakers are set up outside but we tuned our car radio to 93.1 and enjoyed all of the music selections. Occasionally a youngster would slip out and run over to the candy cane box for a free sweet treat. I slipped out of the car when I noticed Tim Deater standing in the back line of cars enjoying everyone enjoying the light show. He told me they have been doing lights of this magnitude for about three years now. Many cars a night come through along with some small bus loads of people. We were amazed, entertained and enjoyed the show. For more info you can check it out on Facebook, Deater Family Christmas Light Show. I invite you to drive over and check it out, be careful it might bring the kid in you out! N3-When not seeking out outdoor light shows or assisting in annual turtle rescue efforts, occasional N3 contributor Doug Harmon can be found manning the mike for Fremont Packer sporting events or knocking down some serious riffs as a member of the internationally acclaimed Braunschweiger Blues Band
Wow, what a weekend we have coming up in the Near North. We selected a quartet of events we thought our readers might find interesting Let’s talk about parades. As we have said many times before no one puts on a parade like Fremont and the one coming up Friday night is a doozy. The Illumination Parade kicks off the town’s Christmas Stroll and brings Santa to his Vets Park headquarters. The streets will be lined up early so you may want to get to your spot a bit before the 6pm start. From there the downtown merchants will be offering specials and a buzz of Christmas related activities will continue until 8pm. And hey, if you didn’t get in a horse drawn wagon ride last week in Newaygo you have another shot after the parade and what better way to get everyone in the spirit of the season? Understand we might even get a little snow for the occasion. https://www.nearnorthnow.com/features-and-fun/parade-to-bring-the-big-guy-to-town Stage Door Players will be once again stoking our love for community theater this weekend as they present Pygmalion, known by many as the non-singing version of My Fair Lady. Side note: Years ago a friend had gotten hired by a theater organization to direct My Fair Lady and she made the suggestion of switching the male and female roles. Of course the organizers said no but wow, what an interesting concept. 7pm shows on Friday and Saturday and a 2:30pm Sunday matinee. https://www.nearnorthnow.com/features-and-fun/stage-door-presents Feeling festive? Want to express a little Christmas creativity in a fun setting? The Eleven-Seventeen Lounge is hosting one of those Wine & Canvas events and you can spend a relaxing evening channeling your inner Van Gogh while perhaps sipping on a Syrah or maybe a Merlot.. By evening’s end you will be bringing home your own personalized painting with a decidedly Christmas theme. Saturday 6-9pm. https://www.facebook.com/events/424642493214856/?ref=newsfeed And tell me, what is it about listening to a really good choir that seems to stir the soul? If you have been a regular attendee of the annual Christmas Concerts put on by the River Country Community Choir you might already be lined up at the Grant Fine Arts Center to nail down some prime seats for the Sunday evening performance. If, on the other hand,you have never been to one? Make plans to attend this musical Christmas present to the community. The concert is free but there will be a collection taken to benefit Love INC so pony up folks. After all it’s the season of giving right? Here’s a link to our story about the prep for Sunday. https://www.nearnorthnow.com/features-and-fun/in-search-of-excellence  By Doug Harmon The recent Saturday Night Show at the Dogwood was truly a night filled with fairy dust. Fans (friends, family, wives, coworkers, old classmates) rolled in with a night of fun, relaxation and enjoyment on their minds. As the band rolled through their first lively one hour forty minute set, patrons were dancing, singing along or just watching all of what was going on. As a band you work hard rehearsing, fine tuning vocals, picking material that you hope the people who paid to come hear you will enjoy. Saturday night the stars aligned. The sold out crowd was a pure joy to play for. From the forty-something to the seventy-something folks in the crowd, a good time was had by all. The band enjoys mixing up the types of music and keeps everyone guessing as to what’s next. The first set included a brief celebration of life comment to recognize Don Heaven who recently passed away. Don had been at the Dogwood from day one as it now celebrates its twenty year anniversary. Many of us had worked with Don on multiple projects and shows. Playing at the Dogwood is remarkable in itself. The facility is second to none and it’s so cool that we have it in our community. The Dogwood Staff is always ready to assist or help in any way to make the show and the performer the best they can be. Then, without saying, the Saturday attendees of our show made the night. They were ready to kick back and have a good time and enjoy some music. As a band it’s always rewarding when people enjoy your music whether it be dancing, watching or singing alone. All of that was going on at the show. The band's second set was one hour twenty minutes and included many crowd favorites and songs that seemed like everyone was singing along to. Yes it was a special night. For whatever reasons some nights may seem reserved. Saturday night at the Dogwood was not one of them. The staff was tuned in, the band was tuned in, and the crowd was tuned in. Someone left a napkin on the stage after the show, “You’re always good but tonight you guys outdid yourselves, great show.” Yup, it was a magical night. Thanks everyone, Braunschweiger Blues Band  By Tim McGrath Wait – as in delay: pause, holdup, postponement, setback, deferral, lag, slowdown, foot-dragging – from Merriam-Webster Thesaurus You know the message that goes something like this: “Due to heavy call volume, longer than normal wait times are expected. We’re sorry for the inconvenience. Someone will be with you soon. Your business is VERY important to us. You are currently caller number…”. Then the tinny, muddled elevator music starts in. Not a big deal, really. Leave the volume on the phone turned up, and keep doing whatever it is we’re doing at the time. Eventually a voice answers, and we’re in business. That is, if we’re paying attention. There have been times when the voice comes and I miss it because I walked out of the room for a millisecond, or the call just dropped for some unknown, but assuredly sinister, reason. Mildly annoying, but just the way it is. First world problem, I remind myself. But… This one really was a jaw dropper. I don’t remember what the business was any longer, yet when I called and realized a live person wasn’t going to answer, I prepared myself for the usual blah, blah, blah message assuring me I’m a valued customer. When it got to the part where they say “Your business is very important to us. You are currently caller number …”, the reassuring voice said number 541. 541! I am not making this up. I could drive to Chicago and back and still not be near the top of the list. I had to laugh at the absurdity of it. It made me wonder if someone on the other end was scooting their roller chair around the edge of their cubicle, asking the person in the next one over, “Hey Stu, check this out. I’m going to tell this guy he’s caller number 541. What a hoot; man, I love this job!” Devilish. I guess when it’s all said and done, we just don’t like to wait. How many times have I been the first car at the stoplight, it turns green, and if I don’t instantly roar off, someone behind me in line honks their irritation at me, the slowpoke in the front of the line. Same kind of thing with the tailgaters out there. Doesn’t matter how fast I’m going over the speed limit, there’s that one (or more) person who zooms in tight just waiting to pass, inching in closer and closer to my back bumper, obviously wishing I was off in the ditch somewhere. Then when there’s the teensiest opening in traffic, roars around me, oblivious to the danger they pose to everyone else around them. Or, what about when deciding which checkout line to get in, do I always seem to pick the slowest one. Not just the slower one, the slowest. The one with the coupon lady in front of me, who hauls out her George Costanza sized wallet of coupons, riffles through them, looking for the five cents off coupon for the jar of mayonnaise only to have it be the wrong one or outdated. Then the pleading with the cashier to, just this once, honor the coupon. Honestly though, it is kind of fun to turn and watch the disbelief on the faces of the other long suffering shoppers in line behind me as the scene unfolds. We all want to scream in coupon lady’s direction, ”Lady, get the app, they’re all on there!” No one does, yet I think we’re all yelling it inside our heads. A little guilty pleasure on my part, I guess. As responsible citizens though, we do have to admit there are times when waiting is good. Developing patience is a virtue; a serene attitude helps reduce stress and anxiety. Can’t always get what we want when we want it. That’s not how life works. It’s not good to be so entitled and pampered that little inconveniences cause us to blow a gasket. Remember when we were kids? We couldn’t wait for Christmas. In spite of knowing we shouldn’t, how many times did we sneak around looking for mom’s secret hidey hole of Christmas that she thought was impenetrable, find it, then immediately regret it. And it really is a good thing kids have to wait to drive until they’re 16. Not to mention when the drinking age was raised from 18 to 21. Lots of reminders that we just have to be patient and learn to take our turn. We’ll get there in the end. And yet, in spite of all this, I’ll bet most of us really, really don’t like to wait. Here's one that happened to fall in our laps just recently… It was time to wrap up another fantastic visit to northern Colorado with son, and daughter-in-law. The plan was to catch the 6:35 shuttle from Ft. Collins to Denver International. The trip would get us there around 7:45; plenty of time to enjoy coffee and a leisurely breakfast prior to our 9:55 flight to Grand Rapids. And to top it off, it was a direct flight. Two-and-a-half hours and we’d be touching down in Grand Rapids. No waiting for endless hours in layovers at some cavernous, mind numbing airport. How can you beat that? As everyone on the early morning shuttle settled in, Ricky, our driver, stood and told us about the trip. “We have to stop in Loveland to pick up a few passengers, then on to Denver International. Looks like there might be some weather and traffic down there, but it should be cleared up by the time we get there. You’ve got the easy part. Just settle back and enjoy the ride. We’ll be there in about an hour!” That’s when a little bell inside my head tinkled it’s warning that “a little weather and traffic” may be, in reality, anything but. It’s mid-November in Colorado, after all. Yet looking out the window at the beautifully radiant sunrise that was just unfolding, put any hand wringing on hold. Looks like clear sailing ahead. After picking up the remaining passengers in Loveland, we hopped back on the interstate. As we rolled along, I noticed the lady sitting in front of me tap the guy sitting next to her and showing him her phone. “Look at this. You have got to be kidding me,” she said. I glanced at her phone and noticed Google maps open. I took out my phone, opened the same app, and saw a good portion of the rest of our trip was a red line– major slowdown, to the tune of at least 45 extra minutes. And that’s when we came to an almost complete stop. The road in front of us was a sheet of glare ice as far as I could see. Denver had had snow earlier that morning, and it was completely snarling traffic. Guess they hadn’t got it cleared up by the time we got here…. The longer we inched along, the more palpable the rising anxiety on the bus. Phones were out in unison checking, checking, and more checking. I have to admit I did my own checking trying to mentally calculate when we finally get to the airport will we have enough time to clear security, hop the train, and get to our gate before takeoff? The lady in front of me was already checking options. And they weren’t good, apparently. I checked our options, too. The only other flight from DEN – GRR today didn’t get us back to Grand Rapids until 11:30 tonight, with the added bonus of having to fly into Chicago O’Hare, with about a four hour layover. No, No, No, not Chicago O’Hare! I silently whimpered. The waiting was taking its toll. The hourish trip was now stretching to over two and a half hours. But just on cue, at 9:00, the circus tent looking silhouette of Denver International rose in the distance like a beacon shining on a dark night. We’re almost there. As we approached the drop off spot, one sensible woman encouraged us all to, “Give a big round of applause for Ricky. He got us all safely here!” Which he had, and we did. Job well done, Ricky. Let’s hope our fellow travelers also cough up some big tips for his efforts. “Just sit tight, folks,” Ricky exhorted. “I know we’re running a little bit behind schedule, but does anyone have any questions?” Oh no, please Lord, don’t let anyone have questions, I pleaded. Looking around at the group, it was clear almost everyone had the same thought. “So can you tell me again where I’m supposed to go?’ a woman near the front asked with hand raised. She’d asked the same thing two-and-a-half hours ago just prior to leaving Ft. Collins. Ricky patiently told her he’d help her after he got us all off the bus and on our way. Everyone clambered down and went to the back of the shuttle to retrieve our bags. It was now 9:15. There’s no way, no way we’re going to make it, I fretted. Scurrying off with our bags, we entered the labyrinth of DEN. No time for a bathroom, got to get through security, get the train to B gate, find B18, and hope to Heaven they haven’t shut the door. Knowing that getting through security at Denver International can be a horror show of waiting in miles long lines, all we could do is hope that because we have TSA Pre Check, it wouldn’t be too long. And thankfully, it wasn’t. Got through the initial checkpoint, now on to the screening. I have knee replacements which requires me to go through the full body scanner. I climbed in, dutifully crossed my raised arms, stood with feet apart on the yellow footpads, and waited. The slider door closed, then opened. The TSA agent motioned me forward, and said,” Sir, you’ll have to remove your boots, we’re picking up something.” Oh great, I fumed. Finding nothing, he sent me on my way. Usually by this time Cheryl is waiting for me with our bags, but she was nowhere to be seen. That’s odd, I thought. I wondered if they’d taken her aside for something. I waited. I kept waiting, trying not to listen to the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland laughing in my ear, ”Oh your fur and whiskers! You’re late, you’re late. You’re late for a very important date!” And then, there she was, waiting in the full body scanner line. Just waiting. She had got sent from the metal detector scanner because she kept tripping the alarm. On to the full body scanner you go, young lady. When she finally made it through, all she said was, “Boots”. There were some other adjectives thrown in, but those are probably better left unsaid. You can fill them in for yourself. 9:40. Hmmm, we might just be able to pull this off. “C’mon, we can do this!” I said. Juking in and out of other travelers we sprinted, OJ Simpson style, for the train taking us to the B gates. We hopped on, it took off at warp speed, and we arrived at the B gates. It was now 9:45. Don’t they usually close the plane doors 10 minutes before takeoff? No matter, we’re going to make this! Zooming in and around the dawdlers on the moving sidewalk, we finally saw it, gate B18, all the way down at the end of the hall. Of course. 9:50. Huffing our way to the gate, we saw the door was still open. We’d made it by the hair of our chinny chin chins. “We made it,” was all I said. The gate agent greeted us warmly.” You didn’t need to hurry, sir, there’s others still coming. They’re holding the plane for a bit!” Oh. “Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite. Or waiting around for Friday night or waiting perhaps for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil or a better break or a string of pearls or a pair of pants or a wig with curls or another chance. Everyone is just waiting.” - Dr. Seuss You said it. |
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March 2023
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